A Soldier’s Dairy

….It felt like a losing battle, but sense of loss does not seem to be able to retain itself within me. This is my perspective of reality that divides my ego in three, sometimes more than I like to admit, but I should never submit because it is my responsibility to deal with. I have walked back and forth on this, and I promised I would not give in to someone or something for pretend again. I feel this might be my Alamo, no matter what I do or no matter what I say, will not have an impact until it has passed…

…So I find my self in a losing battle and woke up in different place, my head on strait, but still far away. It was hard enough not to be let in, when were we ever friends. This is not me living through strife, this me standing up for what is right. The worst of me shall never be seen, it was taken all out of me. The best of me yet to be seen: displaced in the back of my head. Sheltered thoughts of you are entertained but never remain…

…Sitting to atone for sins that will never be mentioned, I burn alone. What is left..? A tattered soldier… watching the battle he fought… far enough to be out of reach. I sit and watch out of sight, for my battle is within. I pushed hard enough to make it certain what side I fight for, but I have seen treason knock on my door. I shall not stand down I will move on with my life with out having a single enemy in sight. The time has come to pay my penitence…